Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Page 9 - Parting from Chaos…


            Before parting completely with my experience in ICU, it's important to look back on some of the more positive elements. It may seem strange to make such a statement but sometimes amazing things come from tragic events, or because of. New friends appear that wrap you in a bubble of protection. One such friend came to me by way of old family friends that I never knew about because they were on the side of my brother-in-law. She took an interest and somehow we connected and through her therapies I was able to relax in quiet moments and find some peace among the chaos.

            Other friends just seem to evolve out of the relationships between myself and the staff. I can't explain how these things happen but I know I got my toenails painted and special visits just to say hello they were passing by. Somehow I managed to share stories about life and love in general with some of the evening nurses during the less hectic times at night. Other times because of where my room was positioned, I shared in the collective chaos in my heart went out to so many patients who suffered so many different traumas. Something in me wanted to help. There are parts of you that don't change, just because you are changed physically. Love is love, it shouldn't stop and I can explain why I wasn't mourning my own self, except that there was so much love. It surrounded me, so I was able to feel it for others I'd never met.

            Another amazing thing happened between myself and my very best friend from childhood. As fate would have it though we grew up in another state we both landed in the south within a couple hours of each other. She came to me and through her a pebble was thrown out into the art community that she is a part of. Support came to me in waves as the ripples grew and cards of original art of all kinds started to fill up my walls. This not to be outdone by cards from other friends and family! My room became a sanctuary. All I had to do was look around at any given time to find the support I needed. I also had the loving support of my boyfriend, something unexpected for me anyway. This is not a situation that tends to bring people together. Paralysis and relationships… It's not a story of fairy tales. But he supported me and told me to fight and breathe and he understood me when sometimes others could not. The art of love, it comes in many forms as I found out.
            Upon leaving this place of dramatic recovery, one of my new friends was compelled to come with me as I exited out the building toward a small waiting plane meant to take me to a rehab center. She was one of those who smile was infectious, one of those that just connected and was barely a word spoke between us we became friends. She held back the tears but could see in her face how hard she tried. This was one of many miracles that my chaos brought about, the people they came together to help me point in the right direction to continue healing. For as much hard work, sweat and tears that went into getting me into the right rehab center, there were equal amounts of smiles and laughter and connections made. I would not wish this journey repeated nor would I wish to give back any of the beautiful people who smiles and friendships I gained because of it.